The Burly Unknown!

Hi.  I’m David.  It’s very nice to meet you.  I see that you’re impressed by my site.  Just be thankful that you have the internet as a buffer between yourself and my actual presence.  My pungent musk is likely to induce a near catatonic swoon.

What’s that?  You assume that I have an imposing physique and devastating good looks?  You’re damn right I do.  I’ve been known to cause cataclysmic havoc in and/or around the most chaste of establishments.  You’re not safe from me.  You bet your bacon you’re not.

But enough about me, let’s talk more about me in the past.

After establishing myself as the pre-eminent analyst and top tier financial genius of our time, I quit my job as an investment banker and decided to conquer the rest of the world.  This was in June of 2008.  The world’s financial markets have since collapsed.  This is not a coincidence.

I bought a one way ticket to Guatemala City, as central american countries have frail governments and would be more easily overthrown by a populist uprising in support of yours truly.  The original plan was to unite central america under my charismatic and benign leadership, however, the leaders of each respective country came to me, begging for their lives and offering me fortunes to suppress my awesome power.  I acquiesced, content to merely rule these puppet governments with an iron fist.

Having conquered C.A., I then traveled west, to Telluride, Colorado, where I currently reside.  I have decided to take my leisure in this small mountain town, shredding the fresh powder while the mountain trembles querulously beneath my mighty skis.

My next conquest awaits me, and fears…

Until then, read on.

If you would like to contact me and shower me with acclaim, my email address is david.garrett.byars@gmail.com

If you would like to hear me screaming my vicious rhetoric into the dark, you can follow me on Twitter by clicking the button below.  My username is Burly_Unknown.

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