Don’t Go to College Part 2: Cool in High School
Hello friends, this is part two of my “Don’t Go to College” series. If you are late to the party and want to start from the beginning, please go here.
Without further adieu…
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The path that led me to buy that one way ticket actually started in high school, I think. Bear with me on this. As a semi-overachiever, I wanted to get into the best university possible. Looking back, I really only wanted to get into a good school so I could prove to everyone that I was as smart as I thought I was.
In middle school, I wasn’t very cool or popular. In fact, I was distinctly uncool and unpopular, and suffered the common afflictions associated with those qualities. Luckily, I left my little private middle school behind and went to a big public high school. My older sister was already cool there, so I figured if I kept my mouth shut and my head down, I might be considered cool as well. Gods above but did my scheme work! I played a couple of sports, sat at the cool table at lunch, and wore t-shirts that cleverly displayed alcohol products. My stock was rising. By my careful calculations, I was somewhere near the middle/bottom of the cool kids hierarchy. A self-styled sub-lieutenant of popularity.
Now, how to improve my position. I’m not the best athlete, nor the best looking. The whole “bloody coup” idea is all played out and might affect my chances of graduating. I know: I’ll be the smart guy. Honestly, it wasn’t hard. Middle school was more difficult than this high school. I sold sodas at lunch to pay for our physics trip to Six Flags and didn’t bring a gun to school. Piece of cake.
Well, I got into a good university. Take that everyone. Now you know I’m smarter than you. I can now become a superior brand of asshole. Can’t I get some sort of tattoo so that everyone immediately knows I’m smarter? No? Ok, I’ll just try to insert that little factotum into every conversation instead.
Why does this lead to me freaking out on a plane on my way to a third world country? Read on.
Hi I'm David. I'm horrendously unphotogenic, so this is as close as you get! Cheers!
August 24th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
i like the bloody coup idea. circa 1996 it was still a very acceptable means of political and/ or social advancement. the real challenge is cutting the leader off from his/ her subordinates (see july 20 plot to kill hitler) asap and assuming the perverbial throne. anyway, great stuff. i feel smarter for having read this.