The Burly Unknown!

Probably the most beautiful PSA ever.  I have nothing smarmy to say about it.

Hello friends.  I know it’s been a while since I last posted.  I’ve been traveling around a bunch and working.  So GET OFF ME!

I write a good bit about Telluride, and how awesome it is.  We’ve gotten about 17 inches in snow in the past 24 hours, and everyone around here is getting super excited about skiing, so I just wanted to throw out this teaser video.  If you’ve never been to Telluride, watching this video will make you want to pack your bags immediately.

Neato Twitter widget! Now you don’t even have to leave my site ever! —–>

I knew you all could do it!  I just knew it.  Maybe I started off Mawndays a little too aggressively.  I didn’t mean to make you guys nervous.  By creating a Mawnday task in which you didn’t have to actually move, I managed to get a few responses.  Give yourselves a pat on the back.  I am so proud.  I may get a little weepy.

Last Mawnday, dear readers, I asked you to send in something.  Merely anything.  The response was overwhelming.  I got several emails offering me Viagra, an email offering to help me increase my “girth”, whatever that means, and an email from a scholarly gentleman from Africa who is down on his luck:  I am now awaiting a money transfer from Nigeria from a wealthy deposed monarch, for only a small advance fee!!

Here are some of the top responses:

1)  DarthPwnd’s Update Fail

DarthPwnd writes:

Ok here is this video just so I can call this one complete, but I reserve the right to update at any time between now and Monday with something funnier:

 Well, DarthPwnd.  Update fail.

BUT, he was the only one to provide a translation for the Xhosa quote from the previous Mawnday:

In my very serious culture, respect is most important.  I thought Mawnday tasks would make people feel good and light.  But they did not; I am now sentenced to death, thanks Burly Unknown.

No, thank you Imbebwe. 

If you want the real translation, I need at least three more fake ones.

2)  Justin’s funny and more than a little disturbing World of Warcraft freakout vid.

A little background if you can’t understand the kid at the beginning:  His mom just cut off his brother’s World of Warcraft account, and he is freaking out.  Enjoy.

Justin writes:

not sure if this is funny or not … well it is funny but …

…

… … …

Ahem, thank you, Justin.

I just want to know how that kid managed to get most of his clothes off.  Like an effing Houdini.

3)  Jon “The most awesome Mawnday Allstar of All Time” Wiese’s theory on how I ended up where I did.

Jon writes:

Many of you ask how this master of the financial industry ended up in Columbia? Well he may tell you he is a so called “Yes Man” but in reality he just got picked up by the wrong truck.

 
Tough Economic Times - Watch more Funny Videos

This is indeed true…

4)  Joe “The Greatest Candidate for a Corporate World Freakout and Follow in My Footsteps” Mishbernstein’s Beerslinger Belt

Simply follow this link.  You will not be disappointed.

5)  And finally, my own nerdy contribution to Mawnday

This is from the quote database.  It’s an awesomely nerdy site where you get to see hilarious quotes people put up on message boards.  Here’s one of my favorites:

<glowsun> I heard about this guy who broke into a lion’s den at the zoo
<glowsun> and got mauled
<glowsun> and people were talking about how there should have been better defenses put up to prevent people getting into the cage
<glowsun> a friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent
<glowsun> for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in

Nerds really are the funniest people out there.  Check out my thesis on nerdery.

Well there it is folks.  The first ever ridiculously awesome Mawnday ever.  Ever.  Thanks to everyone who participated.

FOR NEXT MAWNDAY!!!!!

I want everyone to send in a funny story.  It can be true or it can be one of those “friend of a friend” things.  I’ll start out with one of my own:

During college I was offered an internship with a big 4 accounting firm.  This is because I’m a big deal.  I accepted their meager offer out of a sense of charity.  Training for the internship was in Orlando, Florida.  As is typical with big corporate training events, everyone went out every night and got sloshed.  One night some trainees and I decided to go to one of those dueling piano bars that suburbs people love because they insert the word f*ck into Jimmy Buffet songs.  It’s safely racy.

Well, during the course of the evening, I got up to go to the bathroom across the bar.  As I was maneuvering through the closely packed tables, I gently hip-checked a table that happened to have one leg shorter than the others.  Due to this instability, a wine glass on the other side tipped over onto a girl.  Feeling like a jerk, I started to apologize profusely.  She pulled out a laminated printout of a keyboard and started to pantomine typing.  The lady next to her leaned over, peering intently at the girl’s flying fingers.  She looks up at me and deadpans, “She says ‘It’s all good.’”

I had spilled wine on a girl with Down’s Syndrome.  FML.

The big 4 firm had a contest the next day to see who had the best story from training.  I won.  The prize was a DVD of “Deuce Bigalo; Male Gigolo.”

Because I certainly can’t roll on shabbas.

Ladies and gentlemen.  I finally have my photography page up and running (kind of).  I have fought and conquered the internet demons (again… kind of) and now my beautiful work is available for all to see.  For now, it’s just pictures from Nepal and Glacier National Park, but new pics should be up this afternoon if the internet decides to be kind to me.  and Central America pics are up!  You can either click here or just go to the photography button at the top of the page.

This is a post using the wordpress app on the iPhone.

This is my nephew. He is a bullfighter.

In our trip to Glacier National Park, my dad and I went on a three day hike. When I’m hiking for extended periods of time, it’s interesting to note what I’m thinking about. Since hiking is such a rhythmic activity, a lot of the things that are going through my head are rhythmic. Believe it or not, this was one of the things to go through my head.

Also, the “oompa loompa” song was something that accompanied the cadence of my steps for a period of time. Except the lyrics were my own. For example:

Oompa, Loompa, doompadee dookah. If you are stressed, then puff on this hookah

So my challenge to you, dear readers, is to come up with a hilarious oompa loompa song of your own and post it in the comments. Good luck!

Ok. So I’ve drawn a few comics over the past few months. Most of them are stick figure comics that I just threw together because I thought of some standalone, non-cohesive type of idea that I thought was funny. However, for some reason this idea stuck to me and has kind of captured my imagination until a butterfly flutters along and…ohhh butterflyyyyyyyy.

The premise: Roger is an architect that lives in Seattle (or some other trendy equivalent). He’s an up-and-coming architect at a prestigious architect firm or wherever the hell architects work. Proceed.

As I am your typical organized, put together type of guy, I made the conscious decision to accidentally leave my camera cord in Atlanta. This strategic decision of mine prevents me from putting pictures up that I’ve taken whilst traveling. As Glacier is primarily a visual place (the marmots here are lousy conversationalists), I will be writing my posts, but foregoing the publishing until I get home and can put the pictures up alongside the brilliant and witty commentary. Until then, most excellent readers, I leave you with a comic I drew sometime back. Be excellent unto one another.